Memory care called over the weekend to report a head bump. After a rough day of frustration, she turned and walked into a door jamb instead of through door. Ordinarily these calls go to older brother who wasn’t available, and stands out, evoking last night of their 62nd year of marriage when her husband fell into the jamb of bedroom closet door, hit head, and died during the night on their bed. She is uncommon among later stage Alzheimer’s in clarity about his death: in the morning greeted aide at front door saying he never woke, chose his site at conservation cemetery, tossed flowers onto his casket, and consistently has awareness that he passed.
Several weeks later, sorting through the other bedroom closet, her walk-in closet, among piles of sewing magazines, Master Gardener books, and The Great Courses series on classical music: an NRA 2015 First Steps Pistol Orientation certificate dated two months after her first, formal “mild cognitive impairment” diagnosis. The firearm we located in the house was loaded, but only halfway.
Author of Contented Dementia describes this disability as “blanks.” When we age our recall may become slower, but the “blanks” experienced by those with cognitive impairment feel alarming and accumulate with feelings of humiliation and defeat, while fully intact older memories remain inconsistently available due to the ways we—the world—respond, which triggers more blanks.
Her natal chart:
Born day of Mercury 24° 13′ Leo station Rx
Mnemosyne 28° 25′ Cancer opposite Mars 28° 21′ Rx Capricorn
Phone call about bump, Saturday, December 9th, 20:57 EST:
Mnemosyne 12° 17′ conjunct Lot of Fortune 12° 37′ Virgo
Leo 6° 44′ rising
Saturday, December 9th:
Mercury enters Storm (moving less than 40 minutes arc per day)
Tuesday, December 12th:
New Moon 20° 40′ Sagittarius 18:32 EST
Wednesday, December 13th:
Mercury station 8° 29′ Rx Capricorn 2:09 EST